I am at an amazing place right now. A lush tropical island, somewhere between Borneo and Singapore. The waters are clear, there is intact coral around, the people are friendly and interested and small roads lead through tiny villages up and down through the hilly island. The views are breathtaking. It all sounds too good to be true.
And it kind of is. In the past few days everything has been too much. I didn’t want to explore the island, I wasn’t very fond off checking out the underwater life and making new connections with people seemed overwhelming as well. I feel the great need to be alone, to have a break from it all and to have some time to process.
I’ve been waking up being homesick and not wanting to get out of bed. I wanted to have rye buns for breakfast, toasted with butter and home made jam. My longing for bread lead me to research bakeries in Singapore because that will be the likeliest place to find any familiar tasting bread in the near future.
It’s a bit unusual for me, that longing for bread and it leads me to believe that I’m actually looking for something familiar. We’ve been cycling for about 6 month now and overall been on the road for almost 16 months. And I don’t think I’m tired of travelling per se. I still love cycling, I love connecting with people I don’t know yet and I love exchanging smiles with strangers. And I am still all for out new food and am amazed about all the new vegetables I never knew.
But right know, in the most beautiful of places, I just need a break. I feel bad, because I should go exploring and I should make more friends and try everything new and yet I can’t. And as much as I do feel bad about not doing all that much, I do get it actually. I’m all for change and new people and impressions, but I also need time to process all of that. Maybe more than some people, maybe less than others. I’m not sure how other long term travellers do that and I do feel the pressure of going on and on. But on the other hand I know that taking some time to process and letting experiences sink in is the key to stay healthy for me.
So for now I’m letting it sink in and I’m taking it as it comes. Spending a day inside, doing computer work, reading, watching movies, whatever it takes. And then, I’m quite sure, this feeling will pass. Of course I might have to make use of the bakery related research soon!
7 thoughts on “Feeling blue”
I totally get what you’re talking about here. We’ve just got back from 3 months cycling in Central America. Our blog wasn’t all positive, we were being honest about how we were feeling. Now home some friends/blog followers are saying they were disappointed in the blog. They want to hear that it’s all fun & fantastic. Some felt we were spoiling their dreams!
Anyway, hope you find your bread and head in Singapore. Cheers
Hi Will, thanks so much for your comment! Yes, it’s not as sexy to talk about the less positive stuff but it’s happening nonetheless. It’s life after all, not just a holiday. And yes, found my head again, still looking for bread though 😉
Was cycling in Australia got sorted for accommodation and went for a walk on a beautiful busy beach , I suddenly got this overwhelming feeling of loneliness and homesickness. Though it was short lived and a long time and many cycles later I still remember it vividly. On a positive note , It never happened me again . Hope you find your bread.
Yeah, I get what you mean. Sometimes it just takes you by surprise. Thankfully I’m all good now and we did try and bake bread in the meantime 😉
Good to see that I’m not the only one feeling like this 😉 I cycled trough 5 countrys over the last 4 months, I met incredibly nice people and had wonderful experiences. But the last days I had a few negative things in a row and I feel tired and a little bit sad now, I dont feel the power to explore and meet people right now. But it propably won’t last too long 🙂 A big journey is not always about fun, there are also tough moments, but I guess they are as important as the postive ones in the end 🙂
Hi Jochen, thanks for your comment! I totally get what you’re saying – it’s not always sunshine and roses. Just take a few days off or spoil yourself however you can and I hope the feeling passes soon!
Just had a read in your blog and enjoyed it a lot! We’re also going to Myanmar (sometime later this year) and Laos (soon) and I’m very curious already. Enjoy the rest of your journey! Lisi